Surrendering…

I have realized that all this time I have been waiting for myself to realize who I am. To acknowledge my truest self, and be amazed. My ego has endlessly searched for something or someone on the outside to recognize me, but it was me the whole time waiting for myself.

To awaken is to finally see yourself. To realize that what you have chased for so long was already there, unrecognized. Inner child healing success. I finally see her. When I tap in and let the emotions and energy flow, it feels exotic.

All it took was surrendering. The path to surrendering is finding out specifically what to surrender. Finding out the who-what-where and why was the longest part of my journey.

For me, it was letting go of the constant controlling of myself. It was finally realizing how much I am always saying “I should or shouldn’t” to every facet of my life and mentality.

I have constantly chased the idea of freedom my entire life only to discover that I have caused myself to feel trapped in a self imposed prison.

I have had some breakthroughs recently that helped me figure this all out. One could call them epiphanies, they are also known as downloads, or activations from the higher self. I call these downloads epiphanies so that others can understand how subtle our higher self teachings can be. Everyone has the power to receive downloads, the trick is learning how to recognize them when they arrive.

I was so inside myself during these moments that I felt the energy pushing and swirling throughout my body and the release felt similar to the ecstasy of an orgasm. The energy felt like electricity meshed with the fluidity of water swirling down a stream.

All of this energy was all of my blocks pouring through and out of me. This is what freedom feels like. I had been chasing freedom in physical form only to realize that freedom actually comes from within. Freedom to be myself, and my allowing of it to flow without censorship.

So my advice for you dear reader is to chase yourself. What have you put on the back burner for too long? It is time to pick it back up again and move forward with it passionately without expectation on how it will turn out. Fill this yearn and desire with heartfelt, uncensored passion. Feel the energy that ignites within you as you tap into this part of yourself. This energy is you! This is the part of you that you have kept hidden for so long. It’s the magical power of our inner child.